We've written before about the doona wars — the nightly negotiation between a furnace and an icicle sharing one bed. Most of that advice, fairly, focused on cooling the hot sleeper down. If you're the cold one lying there in three layers while your partner kicks the doona off entirely, here's your half of the strategy.
Why you're probably not imagining it
Genuine differences in thermoregulation between partners are common and not a character flaw on either side — body composition, age, hormones and even genetics affect how efficiently someone retains heat. Forcing one shared blanket setting onto two different thermostats means someone loses every single night, and in most couples, it's quietly always the same someone.
The fix isn't a warmer shared doona
The instinctive move — piling on more bedding for everyone — punishes the hot sleeper without necessarily fixing you, since a heavy shared doona still lets warmth escape at the edges where you're not fully covered. The better fix is separating the variables: a lighter shared doona (better for your partner) plus warmth added specifically to your side of the equation — bed socks, and sleepwear built for coverage rather than airflow.
Your actual toolkit
A long sleeve base layer. Full arm and leg coverage traps warmth far more effectively than a short set, without needing to pile on extra blankets that trap your partner too. Our Long Sleeve PJ Set is breathable TENCEL™ Modal in full-length coverage — warm without the overheating a fleece or flannelette set can cause once you actually fall asleep.
Your own throw or blanket, on your side only, that you can add without touching the shared doona.
Bed socks, always — see our piece on why feet get cold first for why this matters more than it seems.
The honest bit
The actual best solution, if you can both stomach it, is still two separate doonas at different warmths on one bed — it solves both sides completely rather than each of you compromising. But if that's a step too far for your household, dressing warmly and letting the shared bedding stay light enough for your partner gets you most of the way there without anyone kicking anything off at midnight.
The one-line version
Don't fight for a warmer shared doona — warm yourself instead, and let your partner keep their airflow. Everyone sleeps through the night, which was always the actual goal.
